I’ve learned a lot this month about balancing life. Being in school, managing my blog, and navigating what is the interesting world that is love and dating. Rarely do I have time to sit and reflect on life’s lessons. Here are my reflections on how to keep your sanity while being single and in school.
Reflection #1: First Dates
I don’t go on first dates many often but when I do, Just getting ready can be a rollercoaster of emotions. After the confirmation text, it is on.
One of the most important things that I’ve learned about first dates is to be yourself. Don’t become someone that you think that your date wants you to be. They are there to meet and get to know you. Just you.
Something that I’ve learned from first dates is to listen more than talk. I’m a huge talker so sometimes I can go a bit overboard and not let the other person get a word in. But when I listen to someone more than talk, I gain a better understanding of who that person is.
On my most recent first date, I picked a low-key spot downtown and I asked around to see what the best spots around town to go on a date. I also like to look up the menu ahead of time so I don’t feel weird about ordering.
When going on a date and you know it’s going to take place at a venue that you’re unfamiliar with, as a female, it’s important to be familiar with the setting just for safety concerns.
It may just be me having watched way too much Law and Order: SVU, I believe its best to be cautious about safety while still having fun. I always let my friends know who I’m going on a date with and let them know beforehand where the date is happening just in case something bad should ever happen.
Reflection #2: On Being the Nice Girl
All too often, I get variations of this response from guys:
“You’re so nice and sweet and I don’t wanna lead you on but I don’t think that you are on the same page. You want something serious and I can’t give that to you right now. I’m so sorry. I hope you understand and I want nothing but the best for you.”
This is something that no “nice girl”/”nice guy” wants to hear. Do we have to be mean and rude in order to get your attention and keep it?
Being nice and sweet is part of who I am because it shows I care. Which is why that is never going to change, take it or leave it.
Never apologize for who you are. If people don’t accept and respect you for who you are, it’s their loss.
Reflection #3: Self Love: Embrace
Earlier this month, I did a post on how to love yourself again. The idea came to me after watching the documentary, Embrace.
Embrace is told through the eyes of body image activist Taryn Brumfit who explores the global issue of body loathing and what women can do to change to love the bodies that they’re in. We have to change our attitudes towards body image
This documentary changed my whole outlook on how I see my body. The women we see in media are not real. Scratch that. The people themselves are real but it’s their bodies that are not. It’s photoshopped or altered in some other way.
How many times have you said or heard “Oh if only I lost 10 pounds I’d be more beautiful.
We all grew up hating some part of our bodies and changing it to fit what others saw as attractive. It’s time we all say “Damn! I look good!” instead of criticizing ourselves.
Reflection #4: Schedule
It’s usually at this time in the semester that midterm exams are upon us and with any major exam, paper or project comes stress. An easy way to prevent exam stress is to start preparing before you give it a chance to arrive. That all begins with planning your class schedule.
Every student’s schedule varies and mine is no different. So if you are a college/university student currently (undergraduate, graduate, med/law school, etc) or a high school senior planning on attending college, this is what I personally recommend but do whatever you think will work best for you.
I try to plan my schedule where I have all morning classes and have my most of my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I choose to have morning classes because it forces me to get my tired butt out of bed and start the day. This will get me into the habit of waking up early because I know that I am going to do it long after I graduate and enter the “real world”.
Having a majority of my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays keeps me from burning out midweek. I use my Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to get a lot of my work done which keeps me on task for all the homework, exams and preparing to enter a new chapter after I graduate.
Reflection #5: Sleep
I cannot stress enough how important sleep is. This semester, thus far, I’ve noticed a significant difference in my sleeping pattern.
Being a night owl, I like getting my work done at night because there is complete silence which allows me to focus on my tasks with little to no distractions. But with the number of assignments I have, I’ve resorted to sleeping around 3-4am and waking up around 8 or 8:30 for class.
I don’t recommend anyone do this. This is just me being a weird college student.
Although the more tasks that I can cross off the to-do list during the day means the longer I can sleep. I use the weekends to sleep in and breaks in between classes to take power naps as ways to catch up on my sleep.
Reflection #6: On Being Overwhelmed
Sometimes no matter what we do, we feel like we can’t accomplish everything that we want to do because the to-do list gets longer and longer.
This doesn’t apply to just students, this is for everyone.
When we feel overwhelmed, becoming frustrated or anxious comes with the package. I know I’m not the only one that feels like this. But have no fear, there is a light at the end of that dark tunnel.
I’m here to tell you that everything is going to be okay. You are going to be okay. Probably with bags under your eyes from the sleep deprivation but you will survive. If you believe that you can do it then that’s all that really matters.
“Just breathe. You are strong enough to handle your challenges, wise enough to find the solutions, to your problems, and capable of doing whatever needs to be done.”